


I've Missed You

by Joshsabs



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Angst, Blood, Cancer, Gay, Illness, M/M, Self Harm, Suicide, TW: Self Harm, TW: Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-19
Updated: 2016-09-19
Packaged: 2018-08-15 23:29:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8077519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Joshsabs/pseuds/Joshsabs
Summary: Tyler can't do this on his own.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hi this is probably garbage but it's just like a vent fic sort of I guess. 
> 
> Also don't kick my ass I'm trying to finish the update for Taking Back The Crown asap i swear

“ _Josh,_

_I’m sorry._

_I know you didn't want things to end like this, no one did. No one does. My brain is just too dirty now, my thoughts are tainted like water that oil has been poured into. It started out with everything becoming a bit hazy, but then it just kept getting worse. I can’t sort through my own thoughts, I can’t make them stop either. My brain has slowly filled with darkness without you, and I’m not strong enough to fight it off._

_I know you always tried your best to help me when you could. You planted a garden of flowers in my chest full of concrete. You tried so hard, but please understand that none of this is your fault. You did all you could to help me before you got sick, but you could only do so much from a hospital bed. Please know that I love you, with every beat of my tar filled heart and stained black lungs, but no one could save you, which means no one can save me. Not even the doctors. I wish they could have saved you. God, how I would have given my soul to be able to save you._

_I went into our room for the first time in weeks the other day. It smelled like lavender and vanilla. It smelled like you. It smelled like home. But that house isn't a home without you, without your laughter and your smile and your warm essence. It's just an empty building now._

_You were my everything, and I can't do this on my own._

_I don't know what comes after this, and I'm so fucking scared, Josh. But wherever you are, I'll be with you soon. I'll be able to lie in your arms once again, feel your soft silk touch against my skin again, and best of all I'll be able to kiss your lips that always kept me grounded in the worst of times. I've missed you so much, but it won't be much longer now._

_I love you. I hope you meant it when you said you would be waiting for me._ ”

 

Tyler dropped the pen to the tile floor beneath him with a clatter, the sound that normally would have startled him no longer having an effect on his mind now that it was lacking blood flow. The cold piece of metal he had ripped his veins open with minutes before lay discarded beside the pen, blood splatter surrounding both objects and accompanied by red fingerprints.

The dark liquid flowing from his arm was cold, like liquid metal pouring from his body on to the bleached white tiles, covering them in smudges and splatters. His body was screaming in pain, but as more and more of the substance fell from his skin a wave of numbness slowly began washing over his aching body, the oversized cotton shirt he was wearing beginning to feel weightless against his skin.

The muscles in his neck could no longer support his head as it rolled backwards to rest against the cupboard in his parent’s bathroom, his bare legs slowly falling limp against the floor as his vision began to blur at the edges. His eyes were weighing heavy, and he felt them flutter shut finally from exhaustion. The presence of the letter written on crumpled paper was suddenly gone from s his fingers fell limp, and he could practically hear the soft sound it made as it fluttered to the floor.

“Tyler?” A voice that he hadn't heard in weeks startled his drowsy mind, his own name echoing throughout his head as he slowly forced his eyelids open.

The boy could barely move his head as he weakly followed the sound of the voice to a familiar red haired boy standing above him, his eyes blinking slowly as he fought to keep them open.

The boy was wearing all white, and he practically glowed in the small confinements of the dimly lit tile room. As Tyler looked up at him through lidded eyes, his throat too dry to speak, he felt an unfamiliar feeling begin to flow through his body, and suddenly he felt like he was weightless. He could no longer feel the burning pain in his wrist, and when he looked down he was looking at his limp body sprawled against the counter. When the brunette looked back up he was standing before the familiar man, his unconscious body left behind him.

“I missed you” Josh smiled sadly as he stretched out his hand in offering. Tyler looked back at his blood covered body one last time before taking his husband’s hand, letting the boy that smelled of lavender guide him to whatever it was that came after death.


End file.
